SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to another discussion from the park bench where an artist and an athlete explore a new topic and hope to inspire the communities of arts and sports because we know they matter and play a huge role in shaping our youth and our community. So get comfortable and join us from the park bench.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Good morning! I had a, I had an awesome morning this morning. Woke up at my huge four 30, went out for my five 30 jog slash shuffle. And, uh, do you, do you work out early in the morning? Are you

SPEAKER_00 0:45

early? I do tend to shuffle earlier in the morning. I didn't this morning though, because I felt so tight on our timeline today, but, uh, yeah, normally it's first thing I feel. I think we talked about this before, but, but I do feel better when I've moved in the morning

SPEAKER_01 0:58

for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Mine, my, I, I walk, well, It's not a walk. It's not a jog. It is a shuffle. I'm sure it looks ridiculous to people. It's like a power walk slash shuffle.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Your arms get up there and like pump.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

They do. And I even sometimes, depending on the music, there's almost like a bit of a dance element to it. I must look very odd. But it gets the job done. I get a sweat on and I love walking around my neighborhood. I just get inspired by the birds, the trees, everything in blue. Just people. I just, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

This time of the year is pretty amazing for being outdoors.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

It is, yeah. Everything is in full bloom.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

So mentorship. We're talking about mentorship today. And so if you'd had to think about your life journey as an athlete, as a human, if you had to look back, would you say that you were more a mentor or a mentee? And if you were a mentee, who are the mentors that you found have really made an impact on your life?

SPEAKER_00 2:10

That's a great question. I, I, you know, I don't, it's funny. I think about people who say that they're an old soul, right. And, um, they just, yeah, they just have all this stuff to draw from. I feel like the newest soul. So I feel like in my life, I've probably needed the most help, but I don't ask for it. I don't, I don't like to ask for help. Uh, mentorship seemed kind of weird to me. Like I, you don't, I don't want to say, do you want to be my mentor? I know that's not the way you do it, but so So I don't think that I was... Mentored or even a mentor, a mentee or whatever the proper phrase is. Can I ask?

SPEAKER_01 2:51

I love a few things there. First off, I love that term new soul. Describe that more. What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Well, I think when people say they're an old soul, they're kind of, I don't know, pulling from past lives or whatever they're referencing. But I feel like for me, everything feels brand new. There's no situation... not true now but there's no situation where I really felt comfortable everything was like a brand new experience and so I never really resonated or didn't resonate with me when someone says yeah I just feel comfortable in this space because I never felt comfortable anywhere so I would be the perfect person to require a mentor as I'm growing up but but I don't know if it was you know being a male and you just don't ask for help there's certainly some of that and you just feel like you should know everything anyways right so that certainly has that But, but I think about, you know, people that, you know, have been mentors, it's, it's less about me asking more about them making themselves available to be one. And I think that's probably the, we've maybe talked about this briefly about people don't say, I will be your mentor, or can you please be my mentor? That's only in the movies, right? I think it's, if people make themselves or make a situation comfortable enough where you can get mentorship from them, I think that's that's really where it works the best and that's the only way it would have worked with me because I would not have asked because I wanted to you know you pretend like you know everything right whether you're thinking about it naturally or not you it's just the way it was so so I don't know I definitely have had people that you know have been mentors to me I could think of a lot of teachers that I looked up to and my dad obviously I would not be not obviously but for me he was a safe space I could ask him anything you wanted he just didn't share share a lot right he didn't make I can remember talking to my brother and saying years later why did he just tell us that now I would have loved that when I was 12 right yeah but I think his old school mentality was it only has to be said if it's if it's required right so yeah he wasn't super old school like he was like gruff he just didn't think to say it right so and I think that kind of speaks to the general thing too you could be a mentor in so many people's lives if you just share what you're going through experiences you've had kind of by default Well,

SPEAKER_01 5:15

what I hear there is so much, first off, and thank you for sharing the fact that I wouldn't call it pride maybe, but for not asking. And also that newness of, you know, everything is new in terms of fresh, instead of an old soul, like a new soul. You're looking at everything from that curiosity perspective so that everything's a new discovery, a new challenge, a new experience. I think that's super amazing to have that just the matter of having that engagement and having and asking. And no, I always say, people always say, can I ask you a question? Or this may be a stupid question. No question is stupid.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Right, of

SPEAKER_01 6:28

course.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

You hear that, but you don't believe it because there are stupid questions. As a kid, and even as an adult, I mean, there are no stupid questions, but clearly there. And I think it's that too. It's that you don't want to be perceived as, or I didn't want to be perceived as Not being smart. Right. Yeah. Which clearly, you know that. I mean, of course. But but it's it's the thing that holds you back. You don't ask questions and you don't sort of look for the help. So it doesn't get offered to you sometimes. Right. So but that's I think the best coaches I've had in life are the ones that just offer the help. Right. They make the safe space for you. Actually, I think a lot of mentorship is belief, like belief in another person. Like one of my favorite quotes is about coaches. that they lend their belief that they have in you before you believe in yourself. And I think that's a big part of it. I think mentorship in some ways has to come from the mentor before they're asked. And I think good mentors know that this person needs my help. Good coaches know that, right? So they know that the players in front of them need their help. That's why they're there. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Funny on that though, question scenario. Let's say I came up to you, like, let's say I wanted you to mentor me and I asked you. Yeah. But you didn't have the belief. Can you mentor someone if you don't believe in them? Oh,

SPEAKER_00 7:51

great question. I think you can because– I think the fact that someone asks you to have help, that's attractive because you want to be able to help people. Everybody thinks they have the answer to most things. So I think you can. And I think coaches are wired that way. They're there to help initially. And it's probably easier in a sport or arts mindset because that's why people are there. They're there to coach, to mentor, to be that person. But in day-to-day life, a lot of things happen where you just don't ask and people don't offer help. Right. Unless they know. I mean, I think this is somewhat unrelated, but but in high school, you think about kids that struggle and everybody struggles at some point. And I've had conversations with friends over the years and they would say, I don't know why people didn't recognize that I was struggling. Right. And you have guidance counselors and things along those lines, but it doesn't really they can't do everything. So I don't want to put it all on them. But I think people struggle in silence. Right. So that's a different episode. But but I think where mentorship comes in is is I think really good mentors understand and can recognize that this person needs help. They can use a leg up. So I think that's a part of it.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

And two, and whether they find, to your point, in coaches, especially in the arts and sports space, it's about honing in your abilities and your skills, whether you have potential or not, because potential could come from various things. For instance, on a soccer field, you may not have the ability the technical skills of hitting the ball. But there's heart. You're like, come on, team, let's go. And you're out there and you're just this bright light that just picks up the team. So you're giving something to the team that doesn't maybe have the skills. And maybe somebody would want to take that child and be like, you know, I just want to hone your skills a bit because you've got this great passion. Let's see if we can turn it into something even better. Or same with the arts, where someone just loves to express and create, but Technically, they're missing something. Although with art, I mean, there's always stuff to learn in art. I mean, you have techniques and different ways to approach things. So you could open up your toolbox in terms of how you use different mediums. So I think that having someone seeing a potential in you, skills or not, belief or not, yeah, the ask or if somebody approaches you as that mentor, I think is

SPEAKER_00 10:23

a great thing. do you think, is there a difference between I guess someone that asks for help in general and someone that's searching for a mentor, is that kind of the same thing? I mean, if you're, I guess, maybe I'm answering my own question. If you're asking for help, you're saying to somebody, please support me or mentor me in some way, right? So asking for help in general is, do you think it's similar to asking for mentorship?

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Well, it is. And I think for me, I've been both a mentor and a mentee. And I think that Sometimes there was an ask and sometimes there wasn't. And sometimes it was almost this Miyagi kind of wax on, wax off where I'm being mentored. I don't even know it. And it's happened a few times in my career where someone has just taken me under their wing and just kind of said, you know, I usually experience this and you may want to do this. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that's a good point. And so I was almost being mentored in a way and that left an impression. Their sharing of their experiences helped me kind of navigate mine. And I didn't ask and they didn't ask if I wanted it, but I did appreciate it. So I think that it can come in all different. It's very organic and it can come in all different kinds of ways. But I think the best approach is a structured approach where there is a mentorship program or where there is an understanding that I'm seeking mentorship. I want to provide my guidance. Here we go into it together. opposite side four out of ten workers that didn't have that mentor were unhappy or looking to you know jump ship and go with a different a different company so I think in that it's having a structured program I think is important a to let someone know hey I'm available to be a mentor approach me if you want it and it just kind of starts a conversation exactly what you said is that you Yeah. But maybe if you had that space or the forum to say, I would like that, then having it more of a structure, I think would provide the space where someone could say, this is an opportunity that I want to take advantage of.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

You know, it makes me think, and I'm curious what club administrators think out there, but, you know, having been in that space, I mean, it's kind of built in, like we've been talking about sports kind of lens to mentorship normally with the coach and players. setup. But... I don't know that many clubs, and I'm looking for feedback here, because I don't think many clubs offer it in that specific way. And the vast majority of most clubs are house league kids, right? So they're not there to be the next, you know, Ronaldo or whatever have you. But it's...

SPEAKER_01 13:54

I don't know who that is.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

Yeah, sorry. He's a tennis player. Sounds

SPEAKER_01 13:58

like an artist.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

No, no. Ronaldo. Well, he is. He's a football player, soccer player. But yeah, I think it's interesting. I think if they were to put that out there, because I think it might be overlooked. And again, it's resource. Can you do it? But there are so many good coaches with clubs. I'm sure they would be happy to be a general mentor. And I think parents would definitely respond to the fact that, and I would have as an athlete, as a young kid playing mostly house like sports, if there was an opportunity and perhaps my mom or dad pushed me that way, maybe I would have got more of that power. heart of it from really good people than otherwise because you know it's interesting it might thinking of my kids playing soccer and you know it's kind of hit and miss in house like you get a good coach you don't get a good coach it's not their fault it's just the way it goes but when you get a good coach it makes a difference so you could eliminate that sort of hit or miss component from a mentorship perspective just to offer mentorship and I don't in what capacity because it would be it's a big space but but just that kids through a particular club can get some direction and support, I think. Something to explore. No,

SPEAKER_01 15:12

I think you're definitely onto something because sometimes people don't even think of it. And a mentorship, you're right, of the resources because in terms of the sports clubs, I mean, they are under-resourced as it is and they're always looking for volunteers. Segway into another episode. But I think that mentorship is basically... someone sharing their experience with another to help them on their journey and you know i i love it when i mean i love to talk i love to share my stories and you can ask me anything and and i i love it when someone says what did you do in this situation or if someone comes up to me with a frustration of any kind and i ask them well if you ever want to talk about it i've been through something really similar and i would be happy to help you with that and Right. have to know yourself and a good mentor really knows who they are and has really tapped into their personal growth and what they've achieved in that journey to share with another.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

So what, I'm curious, because I don't, I can think of a couple of mentors that I sort of had by happenstance, but you seem to be more involved in this space. So what is, what's your best example or one you like to share about a mentor that you've had that had an impact on

SPEAKER_01 17:03

you? Yeah. So it's funny. There's not that many. I would much rather be the mentor than the mentee. But there have been a few instances where a couple times there was both times it was a woman and I only knew of them what I read about them. But they seem to be such a strong woman that accomplished so much. And I thought, wow, if I could just get to some nugget of information. from their journey and their struggles. I think we have so much similarities and I would just love to know more. And I don't know if I manifested it, but I did get to work with them. And I was like, here I am. I'm working with them. And I... Okay, so you worked with them. They were... to get to know their journey and their struggles and their triumphs but as I got to know them I realized we don't really connect Yeah. Yeah. about my career journey and kind of what I do and don't want. role for me giving to a mentee is really where I can I can I could just touch my soul

SPEAKER_00 19:23

yeah that's interesting because I think you know what in sort of thinking about this episode it was hard to think about people that had been mentors but I think what you just hit on there is that it's often not formal and you just get to be in that place and discover who really means something to you right and so I think having that close proximity to those folks, you're naturally going to want to be closer to them and more of what they have will rub off on you. I'm thinking of, so the one person that stuck out for me as a potential mentor or had that capacity was a boss that I had for about 10 years. And he was amazing and everybody loved this guy and he was just a good person and smart and, you know, was always supportive of what you were doing. He was just the right kind of boss or coach, if you will, right? And one thing that struck Yeah. Yeah. kind of make you feel that way. But it seems like your plant, your seed grew in that space and you are more of a direct mentor because you take on that role. It's an important role, obviously, which I think is interesting.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

And so just to go back to your boss, you can wear multiple hats. So your boss during like maybe nine to five was that boss, was that leader. But for that moment, he almost took off his hat as a boss and put on his hat as a mentor because you've seen him in a different light. So because there is a real difference between a coach and a leader subtle I mean they're all in the same vein between a coach and a leader and a mentor but you can be all but I think that stepping into that space and kind of taking off that hat is like I'm saying this from a mentor and not from your boss or you know and you can have same with a parent taking off my parent hat because really as a parent I shouldn't be saying this but I'm going to be saying it as a mentor I think that can happen

SPEAKER_00 21:40

well he was brilliant in that you never you didn't see oh god You didn't see the transitions. He was just so natural and so good. And he's a person that told you a bit about his home life, but did not tell you in detail about, like, he didn't dump his life on you, which is a skill because it's important, I think, to share things. But yeah, but he was, yeah, I think he touched all the notes and you didn't kind of see the framework behind what he was doing. He was just very natural. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

And, you know, I think about from an artist perspective, some of my mentors, you know, just seen that potential in me. And sometimes... when someone sees a potential or how does that mentorship relationship end? Do they stop believing in you? You know, when someone kind of takes you under their wing and you're like, oh, they're taking me under their wing and then it fizzles out. Sometimes you could look inward and say, were my skills or did your belief in me somehow drop? What happened to the mentorship? Or did I outgrow you? Not outgrow, but did I realize, thank you so much for everything you've taught me. I'm moving on. Or, you know, you can almost get a Yeah, yeah. Do you not like what I have to say or is there something? So I think it's all relationship

SPEAKER_00 23:26

at

SPEAKER_01 23:35

the end of the day. some guidance would they be willing to to provide some share their experiences you know provide some of that helpful advice you know if even if you're not struggling even if you're just curious and vice versa for mentors mentees put yourself out there as a mentor and just say hey you know if you ever want to grab a coffee and just I'd love to share my experiences in my career if it can help you I guarantee you no one's going to say no no

SPEAKER_00 24:20

and you know what just thinking about it from my young Ted perspective because I wouldn't do what you're saying I wouldn't like it would be too scary for me but I think for the person that was like me not to say anything don't tell anybody just stand close to them just know who they are be in their orbit and in pulling as much as you can without having to say anything and then just yeah

SPEAKER_01 24:40

for sure absorb that energy yeah absolutely well we would love to hear what everyone thinks of this please send us a message from feedback you can go to our website from the parkbench.ca leave reviews we want to know good or bad your thoughts on what we have to say because we're genuinely curious about what you're thinking so thank you to Bart Mart Studios and also to my wonderful coach Ted for wonderful for sharing

SPEAKER_00 25:14

you are sitting kind of close to me so you're taking my advice already

SPEAKER_01 25:18

for all your wonderful insight and vulnerability And we say chat soon from the Park Bench.